Life is....

Life is good. It has been kind of crazy but I have loved it! Allie is getting married a month from today! AHHH!! That is so crazy! I love her but it is so weird to think that she is getting married! I am so excited for her though! Brandon is so perfect for her!
I finally got my raise at work and they even back dated it! That made me so happy! :)
Ian is doing great although some days I want to kill the kid because he only sends me a paragraph when he sends me a letter. But he is going to be an amazing missionary. He leaves for Paris on the 18. I sure miss having one of my best friends around.
Devin seems to be doing good from what his parents and siblings tell me. He is most likely coming home in July! It will awesome to have one of my best friends home.
My life has been kind of crazy. I have a baby shower that I have been planing tomorrow. I am really excited it should be fun. I also am in charge of Allie's bridal shower games next Saturday. I have been trying to find stuff for Allie's wedding cake. And of course I have been working a lot!
Life seems to be going good though. I hope to have Gus Gus (my car) fixed here soon. I hope to be in a CNA class by April. I am kind of hoping sooner but as long as I am working as a CNA before the end of the summer I am good. I was thinking about moving to Heber with my dad and Marie but it just doesn't seem right at the moment.
I love the church so much and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I really hope things are going great for you guys. Well I will write soon. I am hoping it won't be as long in between as this one.
If you have any questions feel free to comment them.

Loving my life!!

So I love my family!! Marvin is getting so big! Rowdy is getting so tall! All my other sliblings are great. I finally got to shot my bow a few weeks ago! I shot a Bulleyes! It was awesome!! School is going so good! Allie is an amazing best friend! I still love my job but I need to find a new one or a second one. It is just something I need to do. I am going to start looking today. So anyways I am super busy. I need to get started on stuff but I figured I would update you about my life. Oh I plan on finishing the book of mormon by the 29. The latest I will give my self is the 31. Well I will talk to you later.

Life has been crazy!

The last few weeks life has been crazy! I've been sick. Been working a lot and going to school. Plus my friends from the singles ward keep me pretty busy. I love it! It makes time go by really fast. We are remodeling at home so things are crazy here but I really so love staying busy. I got a new calling. I am on the linger longer committee. Devin's year mark is on Friday. It is really crazy to think that it is his year mark. Like I said life has been crazy. But this past year has gone by so fast. Everything with me is good. I am feeling a lot better. Allie isn't leaving for the coast gaurd till most likely after Christmas. it makes me happy I get her longer. I have made a lot of new friends form my singles ward. Shalanda is one of my new best friends she is so cute. She has a missionary and he might be coming home because he is sick. If he comes home that is awesome for her but at the same time it will be like really I am happy for her but I miss Devin and want him home.
So we went clubing me and my friends form the singles ward. That was new. It made me love my little mormon community. I had fun don't get me wrong but when guys start to try to grind on you that is wehere you get kind of freaked out. But I just turned around and showed them my ring. Got to love my mommy for buying me a real Dimond ring. It sure helps keep those crazy boys away. We also stay up till like 2 in the morning. Well between 1:30 and 4 in the morning. It is a lot of fun but very tiring. That is just a few of the crazy things that me and my singles ward friends do.
Well I've got to go do homework. I'll write soon.

Oh how I wish...

I wish that my dream I had last night was real. Do you ever wish that or that you hadn't woken up? Well my dream last night was the best dream ever. Devin had gotten back from his mission and I went to his homecoming and when he seen me he came right up to me gave me a big hug and  said,"Hello beautiful! I've missed you." It was his voice too. I felt like I was walking on air. I stayed at his house longer then anyone else and we talked the while time. When I finally left he walked me out to my car gave me this big hug and said,"I missed you so much! I love you so much!" I didn't want wake up but right after that I did. Its ok though I got to hear his voice. I love him so much if you can't tell.

Has your best friend ever told you sometimes its hard being your best friend? Well mine did on Sunday but it wasn't bad it made my day. Allie and I were walking though the park on Sunday when she looked at me and said," Don't take this the wrong way ok?" I nodded. So she went on, "Sometimes it is hard being your best friend." I was stunned I didn't know what to say so I just looked at her. She went on, "I mean you seem so perfect." I said, "I am not perfect." She replied, "I know but over the summer you seemed so perfect. You and your cute missionary. You just seemed perfect in the church and you guys are so perfect for each other." I didn't know what to say after that I looked at her and she could clearly see the shock on my face so she went on, "It is hard but it has made me a better person. You have helpped me come back to the church." I looked at her and said, "I love you hun!" She repiled "I love you too." and that was the end of our conversation.

\Live is amazing right now. I'm starting school in May! YAY! My family is good! I love my job! My friends are good! Devin is loving his mission and is doing good! Even if I'm not getting his letters its all I can ask for. I still cry for him sometimes but I hide it from everyone because i guess I get kind of annoying. That is why I'm still the girl behind the mask. I still am for my dad. It is getting better though.

 Thanks for reading.
Tiena

Life is funny sometimes!

So since the last time I wrote my dad got married! Yeah that's right married. They went to Las Vegas and eloped. So I know have a step brother who is 5. I'm also getting a baby brother in July. I was my dad's only child. My baby brother is going to be 19 years younger then me. Well at least I have a little brother that is 5 that makes it a little better. My dad is pretty much his dad because his dad is making so decisions that are bad. That was all a little weird. At least now i don't have to worry about feeling all the presser from my dad. I love him sometimes its hard though to be his only child. At least that's how I feel. Everyone I talk to says that he always talks about how proud of me he is and how he always says I'm his world. I guess I was and I'm still part of that world but I just don't always feel that way. I mean the last time I seen him was on Christmas. And not that I'm upset or anything but he forgot about me on Christmas. So anyways besides that life is pretty great and not that isn't great it's just weird. Devin had been gone for 7 months now. I know right can you believe it. i can't its going by so fast. I still haven't been able to get a letter but Courtney says he is writing me. She also says he loves it there and is doing great. Hearing about him makes me feel better. Work is good. I'm starting my surgical tech program in May. It is only going to take me 20 months I'll be in clinical when Devin gets home. I have so many guys that want to date me right now. Don't get me wrong I'm faltered but I'm in love with Devin. Every time I think about another guy as more then a friend I freak out and push them away. Its not like I haven't gone on dates but when the guy talks about me I push them away. One of my friends made me feel like something was wrong with me. But thinking about it I know it's normal. I'm in love with Devin and I hope that never changes. You know I don't think anyone is reading my blog oh well I'm doing this for me. If by chance you read this comment and give me feed back or something I want to know what you think. My best friend Allie is doing great she is trying to get in to LDSBC right now. She is going to be an Interior designer and let me tell you she is amazing and will have an amazing career in this. Life is really good right now. I sometimes still feel like the girl behind the mask but I also am starting to feel like I'm not so much. I think feeling the the girl behind the mask is still for my dad. When it comes to church I'm starting to become the girl I feel like I should be and like the one I let everyone see. This girl behind the mask is starting to pull the mask off not all the way but its a start. Now I just need to get my day to notice me and what I''m doing to get his attention. I feel like I've tried everything. I've done amazing this, bad things I'm not proud of and lots of things in between but I never seem to get his attention. Aren't dad supposed to notice this kind of stuff? And if my dad does why doesn't he say something about. Just hearing him complement me on something I've done would make my day. I mean I called and told him I'm a primary teacher back when I got called and he didn't do anything. I just wish I could have got a good job kiddo or something anything. i guess wishing this is to much though. Thanks for reading if you do. Please comment. 
Love 
Tiena :)     

Perfect

Have you ever felt like you have to be perfect? Well I have. I feel like I'm being watched all the time. If its not by my dad (I'm his only child so I hope that says something.) its my younger cousins. Sometimes its even my grandparents. I've always been a goody-good at least what I've been told. I never do anything  I'm not supposed to usually. And when I do I feel like they are watching every move I make. Do you know how hard it is to try and be perfect when your only 18. Don't get me wrong I love my family I would do anything for them but sometimes I wish I didn't feel like I had to be perfect. I know my cousins look up to me and sometimes its really hard. I'm also LDS or Mormon. In the church I have a calling as a primary teacher. For those of you who don't know what a primary teacher is the teach the kids 4-11 years old. I teach the 10 year old age group. Don't get me wrong I love that to but now I have to be perfect for them. Plus the Young Women (12-18 years girls) look up to me because I was with them tell just a few months ago. Besides that I just sent off a missionary almost 6 months ago so the girls look up to me for that. I love my missionary and miss him so much. More then anyone realizes but I feel like everyone is watching me now. Everyone is watching for on mistake or anything to see if I can handle waiting for him. Then there are people that tell me there is no way I'm going to make it another year and 6 months. I want to prove them all wrong. He is my best friend and I'm going to wait for him. So that adds more people watching me. To see if I'm going to make it. I can't wait tell he gets back and we can look everyone who didn't think we could do it and say "I told you so.' He is the one for me. I can feel it deep down. I love him more then anything. So you see I feel like I have to be perfect every day. The only time I don't feel that way is when I'm with my 2 best friends or my missionary but I have a year and 6 months tell he gets home and I feel that way again. With them I feel like everything around me is different. I feel like no one is watching every move I make and that makes me feel safe. I don't know what I would do without those 2 girls. I'm the youngest out of all 3 of them so I guess it makes me feel like I don't have them watching me. I'm the second oldest daughter when it comes to my mom and the first granddaughter when it comes to her side of the family. Then I'm the oldest great granddaughter on my mom's mom's side. So you see I really am the one all the younger grand kids look up to. Life is hard but in the end it will all work out in the end. have everyone watching me and me feeling like I have to be perfect will only make me stronger. Waiting for my missionary will only bring me and him closer together and stronger. My best friends will always keep me grounded and having fun. But in tell everything gets better I'll be on here writing to whoever reads this. Thank you so much for reading.