So since the last time I wrote my dad got married! Yeah that's right married. They went to Las Vegas and eloped. So I know have a step brother who is 5. I'm also getting a baby brother in July. I was my dad's only child. My baby brother is going to be 19 years younger then me. Well at least I have a little brother that is 5 that makes it a little better. My dad is pretty much his dad because his dad is making so decisions that are bad. That was all a little weird. At least now i don't have to worry about feeling all the presser from my dad. I love him sometimes its hard though to be his only child. At least that's how I feel. Everyone I talk to says that he always talks about how proud of me he is and how he always says I'm his world. I guess I was and I'm still part of that world but I just don't always feel that way. I mean the last time I seen him was on Christmas. And not that I'm upset or anything but he forgot about me on Christmas. So anyways besides that life is pretty great and not that isn't great it's just weird. Devin had been gone for 7 months now. I know right can you believe it. i can't its going by so fast. I still haven't been able to get a letter but Courtney says he is writing me. She also says he loves it there and is doing great. Hearing about him makes me feel better. Work is good. I'm starting my surgical tech program in May. It is only going to take me 20 months I'll be in clinical when Devin gets home. I have so many guys that want to date me right now. Don't get me wrong I'm faltered but I'm in love with Devin. Every time I think about another guy as more then a friend I freak out and push them away. Its not like I haven't gone on dates but when the guy talks about me I push them away. One of my friends made me feel like something was wrong with me. But thinking about it I know it's normal. I'm in love with Devin and I hope that never changes. You know I don't think anyone is reading my blog oh well I'm doing this for me. If by chance you read this comment and give me feed back or something I want to know what you think. My best friend Allie is doing great she is trying to get in to LDSBC right now. She is going to be an Interior designer and let me tell you she is amazing and will have an amazing career in this. Life is really good right now. I sometimes still feel like the girl behind the mask but I also am starting to feel like I'm not so much. I think feeling the the girl behind the mask is still for my dad. When it comes to church I'm starting to become the girl I feel like I should be and like the one I let everyone see. This girl behind the mask is starting to pull the mask off not all the way but its a start. Now I just need to get my day to notice me and what I''m doing to get his attention. I feel like I've tried everything. I've done amazing this, bad things I'm not proud of and lots of things in between but I never seem to get his attention. Aren't dad supposed to notice this kind of stuff? And if my dad does why doesn't he say something about. Just hearing him complement me on something I've done would make my day. I mean I called and told him I'm a primary teacher back when I got called and he didn't do anything. I just wish I could have got a good job kiddo or something anything. i guess wishing this is to much though. Thanks for reading if you do. Please comment.
Love
Tiena :)
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